Strangled !

Sometimes I feel my mind strangles me. Keeps me away from happiness. Away from small little happiness that I ignore because I think too much.

Overthinking — yes it is a disease. The disease is a part of me or I am part of it. There is a choking feeling inside from where there is no island to escape. You are just drowning alone in the vast sea of life. You know how to swim but you cant. You are helpless and strangled. Your hands and legs are turning numb. There is no hope. No land in sight.

People revolve around circles there. Saying things. Saying things that I know. That I should do. Speaking to me. But it doesn't affect me. This is just a pinch in that numbness. And the cycle continues with another one.

What I feel ? I write down. Why I don't speak ? Will somebody ever understand? Will somebody every understand the silence ? Why I cant be happy ? Why it is so hard ?
People aim to be successful. The ones that are, are busy. The ones that are not are trying to be successful. But do we forget happiness in between ?

Why no one wants just happiness ? Why is there always a clause ?