Alone

Why is he always on my mind ?
Why after so much time of no contact, I always think of him in every fragment of time ?
Sometimes, Why is the question I ask myself?
Why my self respect goes to dust every time I message “I miss you” to him ?
Why had I always put his needs first and suffer myself?
Why I call him now with no answer now ?

Reminiscing the calls and messages we have, I sometimes laugh out in the middle of staring at the wall.
How could have someone faked so much and for so much time?
Did he fake all those hours and hours of talks we had ?
Did he fake all the care he showed ?
Did he fake all those promises ?
Did he even for a fraction of second meant all those things ?
I just ask these answers to myself staring at my blank phone screen.

“I don’t want to be stranded in the middle.” I said
“You will never be”, He said
And yet here I am standing in the middle , ALONE !